Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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