I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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