dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
