Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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