bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Its about making memories worth repressing
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
