He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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