How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
