My first STD was from a foam party
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
