So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
