dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
