My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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