Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
