this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
