I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
