Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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