Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
