You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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