The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
