dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
