At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
this hospital has no fireball
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
