anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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