I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
