Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
