Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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