I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
