So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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