If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
