I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
