there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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