Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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