i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
