if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
