I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
