i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
