used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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