NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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