i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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