Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
