: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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