Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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