is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
