Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
