Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
