This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Green mimosas i think yes
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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