the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
