i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize