sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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