Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
