why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Success! We fucked roommates!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
