so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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