im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
